It is bothering when whatever I do, I actually subconsciously draw parallels to it with whatever I had come across before... Makes one feel as if the world has something against me.

I think that... Because I'm naturally a noise maker. When I'm quiet, it tends to mean something is wrong actually.

But these days, I'm terribly noisy for a reason too. It feels seriously stupid for attracting all these attention. Being so pushy. Yet, I still can't help being the idiotic, stupid me before the problem.

Sometimes there are these people we come across in life that we find very crafty. At least I feel so. But I realised that I can be very crafty too.

After coming across so many stories, it has made me feel that, beneath all the exaggeration to ensure that the stories sell, they have their trace of truth as well. Why else would people bother to go through all the effort to let them be heard. It isn't really all that easy. We know that.

And for every suspicion a person around you has, it definitely mean something actually too. Because the term "same. same. ... different" applies to everyone. The guess that person has must be due to his/her understanding of you. If you have spent time with a person he/she will at least be able to say something of you. Be it through observation or understanding. Since nothing is really clear cut in life like exams are. Haha.

Just like for every person that you can get along with. There will be someone you can't get along with. For every thing you like that another person hates can't understand. There will be someone that can't understand why you dislike something he/she really likes. For each thing you do any something can't understand. There must be something about the very same person you can't understand.

It's getting somewhat draggy again.

Shall take a break. I'll be back FOR SURE. Haha you guys know that too. :P

Maybe after all that I had done to try to convince myself to move on, I realised that I still can't seem to do that. And I have no idea whether I should stay rooted to this choice till the day comes. Or I should just try hard to put it behind me. While I try to let nature take its course, a part of me gets secretly happy when things regarding the situation goes my way, while the remaining part that is trying to move on, can't help but to wonder, what on earth is nature trying to tell me? While here I am trying to move on, why does it continue to create things to make be feel like its too much of a coincidence?

And at this moment. I really have this feeling that I rather stick to this choice whatever people say because... There's this feeling that even if I move on, there will always be other issues when dealing with new people. And I don't wish to go through the whole cycle of beating myself again. Plus I still don't see anyone that's better. Like I still don't find my choice a bad one. This choice, is like the 4th since k1. And other than the 1st. Is the other one that's of same year as me. The middle 2 were actually subs for a brotherly figure. While such brotherly people are nice, I think, it's different, so I don't want that. Lol. Sheesh.

Should I really be saying all these? Idk. But... Unlike my sis who is on her 2nd relationship and is doing all the mushy-disgusting talk again... I really don't like that... Thanks goodness our beds are separated already.

It's going to take awhile to move on I think. I can't blame the opposite but myself. So. Yeah. Silly self.

Sorry if you endure these stuff right till the end. And for all the guessing game you had to go through, they are my dilemma too. So please understand. ><