hi world. i know i have been lazy to blog for ages. sorry!
so what brought me here finally.
because i'm so anxious to know the results of something. if it a green light, though there is STILL an interview. but apparently the interview is just a double checking step, in other words, tomorrow's outcome is the more important one. and because the waiting feels so nerve-wrecking i've decided to come back here to rant.
granted there's actually a higher chance of failing to get through. and haha i can't say for sure now, but i have no clue how i will walk about without feeling trashed because i have so much hopes for it (more like the steps i hope to take through the opportunity given).
it's a very messy feeling. because i am told that, it's just an attempt. it's a far stretch, still just try. so i do know that it's more of a gamble than anything else and there is no way to identify any certainty to speak of. yet, the fact that i've allowed myself to gone ahead thinking about the benefits of the opportunity, the greediness has multiplied beyond imagination...
and it's a clear case that the more you hope for something the more you are setting yourself up for disappointment if it does not come your way. so... i am praying super hard. but also trying to stick my feet onto the ground so that even if, my hopes are dashed, i will not collapse nor despair unnecessarily.
me, my greed, my level of self-controlling...
and LIFE.
what will be the outcome.
o.o
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