its been 6 months of l.d.ring. and everytime i can seemingly find an excuse to be getting myself to where you are i am just so tempted to do it. i'm really bad at this.
its a really horrible feeling of not being able to spend some last few moments with my grandparents and knowing that they would few that little better that they aren't spending the day alone. this valentine's my parental grandad left. and the ironic part is that the week before i had been considering to return for like a week cause it would be sch hols too.
and now that my easter hol is coming up, i'm told that my maternal grandma kidneys have failed and she has no intention to do dialysis. i'm pretty cool if she wants to just leave as it is. other than that i would definitely feel bad cause i have been much of a rude grand daughter. cause my oven's at her place now so last sept when i was in sg trying to bake stuff, she would constantly remind me to have some water. to eat. and it was rather annoying then cause i was facing some issues with my bakes. but frankly she was just been concerned plus i was really getting dehydrated. i suck. and i would hate to imagine that i won't be able to see her for the last time. but i don't think i'm needed back home too. and the tickets won't be cheap. i'm sorry. for having been such a bad grand daughter. but what ever the case. i'll respect whatever your decision is.
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